An SVU Christmas
by NettieC
Summary: This is a compilation of SVU Christmas oneshots. Each one is based on a Christmas song. The first 7 were written for Christmas 2007, the next for Christmas 2008. Enjoy! Review if you can!
1. Santa Baby

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me...

Christmas time spun around quickly this year and the SVU team decided to start their own end-of-year tradition, ala Ally McBeal. All congregated at the local bar to celebrate the season in song, well, John Munch wasn't celebrating per se he was just 'going with the flow' as he had explained. It had been a very busy and stressful year and they all needed to unwind and relax, Olivia more than most.

She had spent the best part of the year away from home on various assignments. She was feeling tired and disconnected. She had felt lonely for a great deal of the time and despite the fact that Elliot was available and she thought he may be interested in her, nothing had eventuated.

Olivia had been so tardy in writing her Christmas cards that they were still sitting in an unopened box on her kitchen bench, now, on Christmas Eve.

In an effort to nurture her own Christmas Spirit and to just have some plain old fun, she wrote her song title on the slip of paper provided by the DJ and sat back and planned her actions. She looked around the table, Fin, Munch, Don, Lake, Casey, Mel and of course, Elliot. Longingly she looked at Elliot. _What did it take_? She thought to herself.

During Lake's rendition of Jingle Bell Rock, Olivia slipped away to change. When her name was called her friends looked around for her and were surprised to see her come to the stage wearing a very short, red sequined mini-skirt, with a white fur trim and a matching, quite revealing top. All eyes were on her before she even picked up the microphone.

In a sweet, little girl voice, she began quietly,  
_**Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me  
I've been an awful good girl  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight**_

Slowly, Olivia made her way off the stage and down the two steps towards her table.  
_**Santa baby, an outer space convertible too, light blue**_

_**I'll wait up for you dear**_

She ran her fingers through the Munch's hair  
_**Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight**_

She ran her hand over his chest. Then quickly she spun around to be facing Elliot.  
_**  
Think of all the fun I've missed**_

She gazed into his eyes.

_**Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed**_

She shook her finger at him.

_**Next year I could be oh so good  
If you'd check off my Christmas list**_

She drew a huge tick across his chest.  
_**Boo doo bee doo**_

Olivia turned to Don who was already feeling very uncomfortable.  
_**Santa honey, I wanna yacht and really that's  
Not a lot**_

She caressed his face  
_**I've been an angel all year**_

And then ran her hand across his head.  
_**Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight**_

She turned and made her way to Lake.

_**Santa cutie, there's one thing I really do need, the deed**_

Olivia sat on his lap and Lake turned as red as her outfit, he didn't know which way to look. He had recently begun having this fantasy but it was never in front of everyone else.  
_**To a platinum mine  
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight**_

She kissed his cheek and then danced away to Fin.

_**Santa baby, fill my stocking with a duplex, and checks**_

Olivia stood behind Fin, leant on him and draped her arm over his shoulder.

_**Sign your 'X' on the line**_

She lazily traced the 'x' on his chest and then moved back to Don.  
_**Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight**_

_**Come and trim my Christmas tree**_

She took Don's hand and made him stand. He was mortified but Mel and Casey thought it was great fun.

_**With some decorations bought at Tiffany's**_

With imaginary tinsel she pretended to decorate him.  
_**I really do believe in you  
Let's see if you believe in me**_

She stood in front of him and gave him a quick kiss. Don didn't know quite what to do.  
_**Boo doo bee doo**_

Olivia moved towards the stage before quickly turning to face her very surprised male colleagues. She walked directly to Elliot.

_**Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring  
I don't mean a phone  
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight**_

She ran her hand through his hair.

_**Hurry down the chimney tonight**_

Then slowly down his chest  
_**Hurry down the chimney tonight**_

And up again.

Olivia cupped his chin in her hand and kissed him passionately before walking back to the stage to the cheers and whistles of all those present. She received a standing ovation from many of the men at adjoining tables but only the girls from her table were willing to stand. She placed the microphone into its stand, turned and waved at the enthusiastic audience, blew them a kiss and disappeared into the night.

Merry Christmas

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you also read my JAG work you'll notice this story in the JAG version - The JAG one is the original story I wrote a few years ago and loved...so this year needing to start my SVU Christmas collection I have plagiarised it - it's okay when it's your own work...:D

Ho! Ho! Ho!


	2. Christmas Gift

_**Disclaimer: If they were mine I'd be a lot richer than I am now.**_

_**Author's Note: This is a oneshot - I figured I'd put them all into one book... **_

_**Set between the divorce and Elliot's lack of self-control and safe sex practices.**_

_**Dedication: for all who read and reviewed Picking Up the Pieces.**_

_**----------------------Merry Christmas---------------------**_

Olivia grimaced as she listened to her captain reiterate his problems … namely her and Elliot. This wasn't the first time he had cause for concern and, as he was admitting himself, it probably wouldn't be the last either. She listened as he tried to fit all the pieces together…how the events unfolded and jeopardised the lives of two of his finest detectives, how the Commissioner was demanding an explanation and demanding now.

She kept her silence as long as she could. As he was talking she carefully formulated her response.

She would tell him it was her fault.

She would tell him it had been freezing keeping watch on the street at nearly midnight.

She would tell him she was the one who was cold and Elliot was just being chivalrous.

She would tell him wrapping her jacket around her tightly and allowing her partner to stand behind her and wrap his arms around her was her decision and she should have known better.

She would tell him not being able to get her gun quickly enough when they spotted the perp…and his gun…was her fault.

She would tell him everything…if she could only wake up.

It was obvious from the sounds and the smell around her she was in hospital, probably Mercy General. She knew Don was the only other person in the room and she knew he was talking more to himself than her.

"Damn it, Liv, you need to wake up…it's Christmas Day tomorrow, you can't sleep through it…you hear me?" There was a desperation in his voice she couldn't recall hearing before.

_Christmas Day tomorrow_ she repeated to herself, _tomorrow, it wasn't possible. _ She and Elliot were on surveillance duty on the night of the 19th, that would make it five days ago.

As her thoughts swirled rapidly she could still her Don talking in the background. With the sickening drop of her stomach she thought of Elliot – she couldn't reconstruct the events after the bullet tore through her and she fell heavily to the ground, knocking herself out instantly. Where was he? Had there been a second bullet, one she hadn't heard? Was he nearby in another ward? The morgue? That question in itself chilled her to the core…Elliot couldn't be dead, could he?

She strained to listen to Don, trying to catch a word or phrase which would indicate her partner's wellbeing but a combination of fatigue and medications kicked in and she blacked out.

Her next recollection was a hand holding hers, a gentle feeling of a thumb rubbing small circles around the back of her hand. She could feel her hand being lifted and touched to something warm; a face. She smiled it was Elliot.

Olivia listened as Elliot spoke in a quiet voice, so quiet she couldn't register most of what he was saying. Still, his gentle touch was soothing and it gave her comfort. When his touch stopped she caught her breath but then heard the door open and knew company had arrived. A few minutes later after a few touches and pulls on tubes the visitor departed and Elliot's action resumed.

Slowly Elliot's voice became louder and she could finally hear most of what he was saying. "Liv, you've got to wake up, honey…"

_Honey?_

"Babe, it's Christmas tomorrow…you have to wake up…for me…please," he begged. It had been the longest five days of his life.

_Babe?_

"Lizzie and Dickie have made you the biggest Get Well – Christmas card you ever seen. I think they used every colour ever made. They wanted to come give it to you themselves but they don't allow kids in here…"

His voice trailed and though he was still talking Olivia couldn't quite make it out. She noted his thumb had ceased making circles on her hand but was pleased when his hand began running up and down her forearm, going higher and higher each time. She pleaded for his hand to go up and caress her face…and in its own time it did.

"Livvy, please wake up, baby." His hand was cupping her face, his breath dancing across her face.

_I am trying,_ she said to herself, _really I am!_ She was desperate to wake up and find out why he was calling her 'honey' and 'baby', desperate to see those clear blue eyes once more and lose herself in them.

"Liv, I'm so sorry you got hurt. I'd have given anything for it to be me and not you in this bed…"

_No!_ She wouldn't change places with him – never.

"…I should have protected you…should have … God, Olivia … I need you to be okay, I need you to be better than okay, I can't even contemplate you not being here with me…I had plans for tomorrow…today actually, it's just gone midnight and Christmas is here. Plans which involved me coming over to your place, since you wouldn't come to mine, and telling you how much I want you…how much I love you…"

_Love? You love me? Love? Oh God…Elliot Stabler loves me…_ Olivia's breathing increased, her body started to tremble.

"Liv…Liv…" She could hear him stand up, his hands now grasping hers. "It's alright…you can wake up…" She felt him reach for something and heard the click of the buzzer summoning help. She heard the quickening footsteps in the corridor, getting louder as they nearer her room.

"Something wrong, sir?" the nurse asked briskly.

"I...I...um think she's waking up…her breathing increase and she began trembling," Elliot reported.

The nurse made some observations, made some notes and spoke quietly.

"I think you're right, sir. There are definite signs of improvement."

"Does that mean she'll wake up soon?" The desperate questioning tone in Elliot's voice made her heart ache.

"I believe she will … It's just a matter of time," the nurse reported.

"Will she wake up in time for …um …Christmas?" he asked anxiously.

"That's up to her. Olivia will wake up as soon as she's ready…" she said.

_I'm ready now,_ Olivia said to herself. _Really, I want to wake up now._

She heard the soft click – clicking of the nurse's shoes as she departed and she heard music play gently from an unknown source.

"I picked this song just for you, Livvy," he said almost breathlessly.

Olivia listened intently.

_The snow is falling, the city is white  
Your eyes are shining like diamonds tonight  
And we're all alone, there's no one home  
You're fin'lly in my arms again_

_The night is silent, the moment is here  
I couldn't ask for more than having you near  
'Cause I love you, girl, and I always will  
And now I know the moment is right  
The moment is right_

_(Chorus:)  
'Cause I've been waiting to give this gift tonight  
I'm down on my knees, there's no better time  
It's something to last for as long as you live  
Tonight, I'm gonna give you  
All my heart can give_

_I thought I'd give you something shiny and new  
I tried to find something worthy of you  
But I realized when I looked inside  
There's some things that money can't buy  
Oh, no_

_I feel the magic whenever you're near  
I feel it even on this time of the year  
'Cause I love you, girl, I always will  
And now I know the moment is right  
The moment is right_

_(Repeat chorus)_

_You know I'll always be true to you  
And you know I'm the one you can turn to  
Oh, yeah  
Anytime, anyplace, or anywhere  
You know that I'll always be there  
Oh, baby_

She felt the bed dip as Elliot moved beside her. She knew he was painfully close to the edge but she was glad he was there. She felt one arm drape gently across her body and the other one rest on her pillow, playing with her hair. She realised he must be laying beside her, propped up on an elbow. She sighed deeply.

Last Christmas this was what she had desperately wanted – to be in his arms, in his heart, to be loved by him. She knew now the moment was right. With every last ounce of energy and willpower she forced her eyes open and was instantly rewarded.

"Merry Christmas, Liv, I love you," Elliot said before gently kissing her forehead.

"Oh baby," she croaked, "Love you too."

-------------------------------------------------------E&O---------------------------------------------------------

**The song is This Gift by 98 Degrees**


	3. Blue Christmas

**Blue Christmas SVU**

_**This little oneshot has been inspired by Blue Christmas (various artists). Set after the divorce and before…well…the thing we didn't want. **_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own them or the song .**_

_**Dedicated to da-doink- doink and rockstargoddess for always reviewing...and CCWaT who has just started...much appreciated.  
**_

_**-------------------------------------------------------------Blue Christmas-----------------------------------------------**_

_I'll have a blue Christmas without you  
I'll be so blue just thinkin' about you  
Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree  
Won't be the same dear if you're not here with me_

_And when the blue snowflakes start fallin'  
That's when the blue memories start callin'  
You'll be doin' alright with your Christmas of white  
And I'll have a blue, blue Christmas_

_You'll be doin' alright with your Christmas of white  
And I'll have a blue, blue Christmas  
And I'll have a blue, blue Christmas  
And I'll have a blue, blue Christmas_

The night of Christmas Eve had fallen upon New York City and with it came a gentle snowfall frosting the city in a delicate white. Elliot looked out from his bedroom window, the beauty lost on him. This was his first Christmas alone, ever.

Coming from a large and enthusiastic family, where Christmas was concerned, his childhood was filled with happy Yuletide memories. His home had always been filled with people, warmth, good cheer and food, he inhaled at the thought; the comforting smell of his grandmother's plum pudding echoed from the past. But that was so very long ago.

As he grew, his family Christmases grew bigger first with more siblings, then with more in-laws. Elliot couldn't remember when he stopped having Christmas in his childhood home and instead celebrated with his wife and young children. He guessed Kathleen was about three the first time Santa had visited her at home. He smiled at the recollection of his eldest daughters, blonde curly hair messed, racing each other down the stairs to their overfilled Christmas stockings.

Then as the years went there was the addition of the twins which kept the spirit going longer and there were always more people in the home than they had anticipated, colleagues, friends, relatives. They lived by the adage most Irish Catholic families did and that was 'there was always room for one more'.

Elliot shook his head at the thought, before scanning his bedroom. His house felt so empty, it had room for many more…but it wasn't to be. For the first time there was no one to share the day with. His mother was visiting her sister in Seattle, his various siblings were celebrating with in-laws and although he'd had many invitations to join them he had declined.

Kathy had taken the kids down to Florida to spend Christmas with her family and while this had saddened Elliot greatly he couldn't stop them. The kids had been so excited about a warm Christmas and spending it for the first time in years with their maternal grandparents.

Slowly he trudged downstairs and poured himself a whiskey. He looked around, the place was devoid of Christmas…no tree, no tinsel and the cards which had arrived sat in a pile on his table. He grabbed the glass, downed the contents and poured another one.

He sat on the sofa, feeling more than a little down about the impending day. He knew if he could consume enough from the bottle in front of him he'd sleep through it and wouldn't remember it…it seemed like the best plan, or at least a plan, he didn't know what else to do to take away the ache and so he started.

The shrill ring of the phone brought him back to the present time and despite his initial thought of leaving it unanswered he didn't.

"Hey daddy," Lizzie's ever-cheerful voice carried down the line.

"Hey baby girl! Merry Christmas!" he replied, taking a deep breath and willing himself to keep it together.

"Merry Christmas, daddy! We're having a great time here…miss you though," she said.

"Miss you too, Lizzie. I'm glad you enjoying yourself." He tapped his foot hoping to speed up the conversation before he started blubbering like a fool.

"Daddy, Maureen wants to say 'Hi'…love you," Lizzie said before handing the phone over.

"Love you too." Elliot repeated the process with each of his children, each one adding to his pain. Each goodbye served to remind him he was alone and so far away from those he loved most.

After he replaced the receiver he dropped his head into his hands and let out the pain. Loud, mournful sobs racked his body and he let them. He cried for the loss of everything he once held so dear, his family. He had gone from a man with everything to a man with nothing and on Christmas Day the pain of that realisation was indescribable. He shook his head and tried to pull himself together…he tried to remind himself all those he loved were still alive and he should be grateful for it. He told himself he should count his blessings he had experienced so many wonderful Christmases and that next year he'd have it all back.

As he headed out to the kitchen with his glass his thoughts turned to his partner. Unchecked tears fell as he realised this was probably what Olivia felt every Christmas, even as a child. He remembered her once saying how Christmas had been a non-event for her because Santa never came. At the time Elliot couldn't truly appreciate the pain in her eyes as she spoke, but now even the memory of it was overwhelming to him.

Swiftly he moved back through to the hall table, pocketed his cell phone and picked up his keys. He knew he was over the limit and shouldn't be driving but as the clock ticked over to midnight and Christmas had officially arrived, he knew he had to see her, be with her.

He struggled into his coat and flung the door opened, he stumbled backwards in surprise when he found Olivia on his doorstep, her hand raised to knock on the now opened door.

"Olivia!" he exclaimed as she reached in and grabbed his arm to steady him.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" she asked, remaining on the doorstep.

"Out! Why are you here?" he asked, tugging her arm and pulling her into his house.

"I thought you might be a little blue about Christmas on your own, thought we could spend it together," Olivia replied, watching him carefully. This wasn't the Elliot Stabler she knew.

He smiled. "I was going to your place…I wanted to spend Christmas with you."

A few drinks and a few sad Christmas stories later, Elliot fell asleep on the sofa. Olivia gently lay him down and covered him with the throw rug sitting on the armchair. She went to pick up her bag but he grabbed her arm.

"Don't go Livvy, please don't go…" he begged in a child-like voice.

"I'm not going anywhere, El," she replied as she allowed herself to be pulled back to the sofa.

Elliot pulled back the throw rug looked up at her; no words were spoken as she discarded her shoes and slipped onto the sofa beside him. He looked at her for a few minutes before brushing strands of hair of her face.

"Merry Christmas, Liv," he whispered before kissing her forehead.

"Merry Christmas, El," she replied, gazing into his eyes.

Elliot's Christmas was a little less blue now that one of his dearest loved ones was with him and as she allowed herself to get lost in the deep blue pools hovering above her, Olivia's Christmas became a little bluer – and she didn't mind in the least.

**-----------------------------------------------------------Merry Christmas-----------------------------------------------------------------**

**Feel free to leave me a little Christmas review or request …**


	4. Midnight

_**Disclaimer: The characters and the song are not mine…just playing for Christmas.**_

_**This is for Elizabeth (HarmMacLove)...for her wonderful support during the development of this story...and for writing both JAG and SVU - just like me!!!!! Check out her work!**_

_** This story moves from Christmas to New Year's Eve but it's still the Festive Season so I'm posting it here...Thanks to PaceyW'sgirl for her Christmas oneshot request, I'll work on it this weekend. I'm still taking requests if anyone has a story they think should be told...but only if you review first!  
**_

_**------------------------------------------------------------------Midnight--------------------------------------------------------------------**_

Midnight is the bewitching hour and never more so than at New Year's. The moment when the old year passes and the new one begins reawakens hopes and dreams crushed by the toll of the previous year. It is a time for resolutions and new beginnings and I'm hoping against hope that's what happens here tonight.

The clock's telling me it's 11:36pm – I don't know whether the time is standing still or flying by. I've showered twice and had nine changes of outfits. God, it should be much easier than this. I catch my reflection in the hall mirror, my tight blue denim jeans and white cashmere sweater look good for a casual date but for New Year's? Make that ten changes.

Now I'm wearing my black, not as tight jeans and a white linen shirt, still casual but a bit more comfortable…at least I can breathe in these.

This shouldn't be so hard…I'm sure my pulse is hitting rates it's never seen before, my heart feels like it'll jump out of my mouth and my stomach…well, let's just say it's not coping either.

I can't believe he is having this effect on me. I mean god, I see him everyday…we work together, we hang out on occasion, we have the same friends…it shouldn't be this hard.

Well, it would be much easier if I wasn't head over heels in love with him or, better still, I was and he felt the same about me. God, that sounds so much like high school…

It's all his fault…Christmas Eve at the precinct's get together, he sat down next to me. Granted it was the only chair left but he looked so hot in his jeans and blue shirt and he smelt like heaven. He was chatty all night, looking more relaxed than I'd seen him in a long time. He was so attentive, I don't think my glass had a chance to empty once.

It was his suggestion to dance and the moment I was wrapped in his arms I couldn't deny what I had known for a while now…the truth was I loved him…not as a friend or colleague but as in 'take me, oh god, take me now'.

As the music slowed, I felt his arms pull me tighter, one hand gently rubbing my back. I could hear his breath becoming raspy and I knew mine was too. I pulled back and looked at him, losing myself in his amazing eyes. It took every ounce of self control not to jump him there and then.

I felt one arm let go and track its way up to my face. His fingertips danced gently along my cheek then under my chin…I was pulled into him almost involuntarily. Our faces got closer, our noses touched and just when I thought I'm about to get everything I asked Santa for his cell rings and he pulled back.

Several short terse comments he pockets his phone and I know our moment has gone.

"Damn!" he muttered. "Got to go."

That was December 24th, now it's the 31st and I haven't seen him since. Commitments away from the job kept him busy and, in fact, our plans for New Year's only came from one text message at 9:00pm tonight.

_I'll be there by midnight…wait for me_

Wait? Wait? Like there was anywhere else to go. I'd wait on the street for him in the freezing cold and light snow if it didn't make me look overly desperate. He was coming to see me at midnight on New Year's and that has to be good, doesn't it?

Yeah it did…I'm convincing myself…11:39pm…That clock has to have stopped. The radio will help. NSync are on…not really my cup of tea but the lyrics catch me…God that's all I need…

**Kiss Me At Midnight**

Oh, oh  
Hey, hey  
Kiss me at midnight

5...4...3, 2, 1!

(Chorus:)  
Kiss me at midnight  
Dance until the morning light  
Party into the new year  
All of my friends are here  
And when the time is right  
Kiss me at midnight

I've been waiting for this special night  
To be with you  
The colors of Christmas are still shining bright  
And I know what we're gonna do

Anticipating  
Music is playing  
The magic is in the air (the air)  
All through the season  
You've been the reason  
I have so much love to share

(Repeat chorus)

We'll be making promises in the dark  
Our resolutions  
As a brand new year is about to start  
And we're together

Celebrating (celebrating)  
No more waiting (ooh)  
Our time has arrived (oh, oh, oh)  
Feel the beat of my heart (beat of my heart)  
As the countdown starts (countdown starts)  
Just look into my eyes  
Ooh, ooh

(Repeat chorus)

(Bridge:)  
Baby, it's New Year's Eve  
A time we can believe  
In making wishes (making wishes)  
Dreams come true (dreams come true)  
Just for me and you

I can't believe those boys just sang out every word in my heart…as sad and sappy as it sounds him kissing me at midnight would make all my wishes and dreams come true. I shake my head, when did I become that girl…the one who just needed her man, needed his arms, his body…his kiss.

11:46…oh my, I think I'll have passed out before he gets here. I can't believe I'm this nervous…it's just him…it's just him…it's just him. God, I'm repeating myself.

I try to force my eyes from the clock…after all a watched pot never boils…but I glance anyway, 11.51…nine minutes…540 seconds…539 seconds….

Hang on, what happens if he doesn't want me the way I want him…? What happens if he's coming over as a friend and nothing else…? That's a depressing thought and it's killed another few minutes. 11:56…or 240 seconds…

Okay…last minute check…I'm in love with him…he may not love me. I want to jump him the minute I open the door…he may just be here as a friend…Where's the time gone?

On the radio they've started the countdown

10…he's still not here

9…maybe he's not coming

8…I better not have stressed for nothing

7…Oh god, I think I'm going to cry

6…still not here

5…Is that the door?

4…YES!!!!

3… "It's open!"

2…It's him…he's here…he has flowers

1… "Happy New Year," I say as he nears me. He tosses the flowers onto the table and wraps me in his arms. Before long I feel the one thing I've craved, his lips on mine.

Everything else becomes a blur as our hands and mouths take on a life of their own.

Soon he pulls back and I can see his love for me reflected in his eyes.

"Happy New Year, Casey," he whispers hoarsely.

"Happy New Year, Don." I take his hand and lead him to my bedroom…there's nothing like starting the New Year with a bang!

_**------------------------------------------------------------Midnight----------------------------------------------------------------**_

I love reviews...they make me write more or at least post quicker...


	5. I'll Be Home For Christmas

**Disclaimer: The characters and the song and not mine but wouldn't it be nice if they were!**

**This is for mhopeg who requested a the song "I'll be home for Christmas."**

** I have had CONSIDERABLE trouble logging into the site and apologise for the delay...**

**but please enjoy this one and review.**

**--------------------------------------------------I'll Be Home for Christmas------------------------------------------------------ **

It had been a very long year in the lives of the entire SVU squad, each case had exacted its toll on the team and as a memento they each now had a new album in their brain of the traumas with which they had dealt.

Pain, misery, tragedy… pain, misery, tragedy, a repeating cycle and each member would give the job away in a minute, if only they could live without it…and without each other.

For Elliot, this year was the hardest of his life. His divorce had been finalised and besides the intrinsic sadness which accompanies such events, he had been relieved. That sorry chapter closed he was able to look to the future and for a few brief moments, or weeks in his case, had considered the possibility of a future with Olivia which hadn't been work related in the least.

It had come to an end on a Wednesday afternoon in late fall when Cragen had called them both into the office and told them of a new SVU being established in Arizona. They were looking for experienced detectives to help them out for a couple of months and his unit would be supplying one and one only.

Instantly Elliot's stomach dropped, she'd be leaving him again…first Computer Crimes, then Oregon, now Arizona. The first two times had been extremely difficult for him…Olivia was his other half, it wasn't until she left he realised just how much she did for him.

Since his divorce he'd also come to the realisation of just how much she did to him. The ink on the paperwork had barely dried before he admitted to himself what everyone else had known, or at least suspected, he was in love with her.

Taking a quick sideways glance, he sighed, just when he was working up the courage to move things forward Cragen was taking things out of his hands.

"So, what do you think Elliot?" Don asked.

Elliot shook his head; he had absolutely no idea how to answer. He been completely engrossed in his own thoughts he'd missed everything after Arizona.

"Well?" Olivia prompted.

A nervous silence ensued and Elliot shuffled in his seat.

"You don't have to answer right now, El, I just thought a change of scene may do you some good," Don continued, closing the file in front of him.

The penny dropped and he realised it was him heading west. Olivia wasn't going anywhere – he was. It took him ten seconds to decide to go; after all, at least he would know where Olivia was and where she would be when he returned. If she went to Arizona, who knew what would happen.

"I'll go," he said, getting to his feet. "A change is as good as a holiday."

And so it was in the week leading up to Christmas, Elliot found himself still in Arizona. His couple of months up he was still in Phoenix, the original assignment extended due to the usual snafu's associated with getting anything started or funded in a Police Department.

He'd managed two weekends back East to see his kids, but on only one of those occasions had he seen Olivia. Although she was definitely on his itinerary they met by chance in the CVS drugstore near the precinct. His first thought when he saw her was to walk down the family planning aisle.

Elliot studied her every move and was gladdened when her eyes met his and her face erupted in the biggest smile ever.

But that was six weeks ago, and although he spoke to her a few times a week and emailed her multiple times daily, it wasn't the same thing…no where near the same thing.

Elliot was startled out of his thoughts by the shrill ring of his phone.

"Stabler," he growled.

"Hey dad!" Kathleen's bubbly voice echoed down the line.

"Hi sweetie, what's up?" Elliot asked, if Kathleen was calling she needed something.

"We just wanted to let you know we're heading south for Christmas. Nan and Pop invited us to spend Christmas with them and mom said yes. We didn't think you'd mind since you weren't coming home," she rambled. "And since we kids couldn't come to you and leave mom alone we thought this would be okay."

He sighed deeply. Not seeing his kids for Christmas was going to be extremely difficult…but at least they'd be happy.

"Sure, sweetie, have a great time. When do you leave? On the 22nd, we're flying and the twins are so excited. They haven't shut up about it since…" she paused.

"Something else there, Kathleen?" he prompted.

"Um, yeah, well, no…I …" she stuttered.

"Take a breath and tell me," Elliot encouraged. Of all his children Kathleen was the most decisive and most explicit in her responses, stuttering wasn't a trait he'd ever associate with her.

"Daddy," she began quietly and he grimaced, she hadn't called him that in years. "I um…well, yesterday I was in the city shopping and I…um…I saw Auntie Liv…"

"Oh, that's good," he forced himself to say in a casual manner. "Did you talk to her?"

"Um, yeah, we actually went and had coffee," Kathleen replied somewhat cautiously.

Elliot wasn't sure how to read the situation. "And how is she?"

"She's, um, alright," she replied.

"Um…alright? Is something up with Olivia, Kathleen?" Elliot asked, his stomach moving up to his throat.

He could hear the hesitation and his heart began to thump.

"Auntie Liv…she was, um, daddy, she got hurt at work last week," Kathleen said quickly.

"Hurt? How? When?" Elliot demanded, his heart now knocking on his ribcage and his hand trembling. How the hell had he not known this?

"She said it was nothing really, just the perils of the job but she had a broken arm and bruises on her face and I think on her neck. She kept pulling her scarf tighter even though the café was warm. I'm sorry dad," Kathleen said.

It took Elliot a few moments to digest the news, Olivia, his partner had been injured on the job…and now his daughter was apologising.

"What are you sorry for, baby?" he asked.

"She made me promise not to tell you and I know you care about her and I didn't want to ruin your Christmas but I just had to tell you," she said.

"I'm very glad you did, sweetie, I'll take care of it," he replied.

"Dad, I've got to go, love you!" Kathleen said.

"Love you too, Kathleen."

Elliot grabbed himself a beer, turned on the radio and slumped into his chair. It was December 20th; he knew getting to New York would be impossible, he found that out three weeks ago when he tried to make plans to get home to the kids. He knew if he called Olivia she would avoid the whole topic and if he raised it she'd know Kathleen had told.

He took a swig of beer and pulled at its label, the DJ broke into his thoughts.

"This is for all those who aren't where they want to be this Yuletide…"

_I'll be home for Christmas  
You can count on me  
Please have snow and mistletoe  
And presents under the tree  
Christmas Eve will find me  
Where the love light beams  
I'll be home for Christmas  
If only in my dreams_

_Christmas Eve will find me  
Where the love light beams  
I'll be home for Christmas  
If only in my dreams  
If only in my dreams_

By the end of the song he was surprised at how misty eyed he'd become. He'd heard the song a million times and never once had it thought of it as anything more than Christmas sappiness. This time, as he picked up a photo of himself and Olivia, it meant everything.

He took another mouthful of the amber liquid, wiped his eyes and pulled out his laptop. Where there's a will, there's a way and he definitely had the will to get to New York, to Olivia, it was now a matter of finding the way.

It had gone three in the morning before he had a plan…a convoluted, costly and full of potential risks and delays plan, but if everything went well, he would be knocking on her door Christmas morning.

He looked at the printouts confirming his travel, flights had been nigh impossible to pull together – that left him with the train…and a long cross country trip. With so much already sold out he was left upgrading everything but he had booked it.

Between him and Olivia there was now only his 8:OOpm departure on the 21st from the Metro Center, changes in Flagstaff, Chicago and Pittsburgh, 54 ½ hours in actual travelling time, the additional time for layovers and if everything went to plan only seventy five hours later he'd pull into Penn Station Christmas Eve at 10:51pm. Putting the $1610 charge on his Visa card he prayed she'd at least be home when he got there.

Exhausted he went to bed, it would be a long time before he got into a decent bed again…he didn't want to press his luck but he was hoping that bed would be Olivia's.

Elliot sat nervously at the Metro Center clutching his sports bag, backpack, a coffee and a bag from the bakery. He was more than an hour early but he was desperate to start this journey as quickly as possible, the sooner it started the sooner he'd be in New York and the more he thought about it the more impatient he became.

He sipped his coffee and told himself to settle down but when they announced there'd be a half hour delay in departure his anxiety levels rose and he had to will himself to remain seated and to breathe.

The hiccup at the start of his journey home was one many. Delays, a screaming baby, two love struck college students making out, the buffet car running out of coffee all served to agitate him further. By the time he changed in Pittsburgh he was extremely tired, agitated and fed up.

Just as he was trying to convince himself it would all be worth it – an argument he was not winning, his cell rang. He smiled when he read the caller ID.

"Hi Liv!"

"Hey El, what are you up to this Christmas Eve?" she asked.

"Not a lot, you?" he asked, desperate for any information.

"We're going out for drinks tonight and then dinner with the team. Wish you were coming," she said.

"Yeah, me too," he replied. True he had missed Olivia desperately but he had also missed his friends, his unit.

"What are you doing for Christmas Day?" she asked, sad he wouldn't be spending it in New York.

"Hanging out with a friend," he answered honestly. "You?"

"Nothing during the day but going to Simon's tomorrow night. It'll be strange having Christmas with family," she replied.

"Yeah," he said, somewhat disappointed, they had spent many Christmases together but obviously she didn't count that as family.

"Oh," she read his tone. "I meant as in blood family – not family – family."

He smiled, he was family- family!

More chatter and friendly banter later and Olivia still hadn't disclosed her injuries, even though he'd given her many avenues. He sighed.

"So will it be a late night?" he asked.

"Not too late, Casey has commitments early tomorrow…" she began.

"Why does it rely on Casey?" he asked.

"She's giving me a lift," Olivia replied. "My car's in the shop."

Elliot shook his head, still no acknowledgment of her injuries.

All too soon the call ended and as the train hurtled towards New York, Elliot closed his eyes and contemplated what was to come. At least he knew where she'd be. The trip was behind schedule and he'd be getting in about 1:00 am and the cab ride would only take twenty minutes and he could be in her apartment by 2:00. He let his mind drift to what might ensue after that and fell asleep with happy Christmas dreams.

The increase in noise and the slowing of the carriage brought Elliot back to reality, he looked out the window and amid the darkness and light snowfall, could see he was nearly at his destination. It had taken him seventy nine hours to get this far but he knew the last twenty minutes to her door would feel like an eternity in comparison.

When the passengers finally got to disembark he collected his belongings and headed out to the taxi stand, more invigorated than ever before. He glanced along the stand and knew he'd have a long wait to get a cab. He spied a patrol car parked across at the end of the block and made his way to them.

He tapped on the window with his shield.

"Detective Elliot Stabler, SVU. You guys wouldn't want to do me a huge favour would you?" he asked in the most amiable manner he could muster.

"And what would that be, sir?" asked the officer in the driver's seat.

"You couldn't give me a lift, could you? It's been a bloody long train ride from Arizona and I just can't bear waiting another hour over there." He nodded towards the cabs.

"Sure, get in," the officer replied. "Are you home for Christmas?"

Elliot threw his bags in the back and climbed in after them. "Not yet!"

He gave the address, and the officer set off in the direction of Olivia's apartment. They continued to talk, their conversation, covering the weather, sports and general shop-talk until they finally turned into Olivia's street.

"This it?" he asked, double parking the car in front of the building.

"Yep," replied Elliot, a grin now plastered on his face. "I'm home now!"

Elliot checked his watch, 1:47 am; he bounded up the stairs not wanting to wait for the elevator. Four minutes later and short of breath he stood in front of her door, he raised his hand twice to knock but didn't quite manage it. He wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and third time was the charm.

Unfortunately there was no answer, he knocked again and again and rang her house phone, still no answer. He went into his backpack and fished out his home set of keys, the set which still contained Olivia's 'in case of emergency' key. He thought about it for all of three seconds, this was an emergency, if he didn't see her soon he would explode.

He let him self in, deposited his belongings inside the front door and went to search the apartment, she wasn't home. He grabbed a soda from the fridge as he considered his next move…she could be home any minute – that would be good, she could be out all night – that would be bad, she could come home alone – that would be good, she could come home with someone else –that would be bad, definitely bad. If she hid the news about her injuries she could hide the news about other things too.

To put himself out of his misery he decided to call Casey, she'd know Olivia's movements.

"Novak!" He heard Casey's extremely tired voice come down the line.

"Sorry, Case, did I wake you up?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah, it's two in the morning, Stabler. Something up?" she asked.

"Um, yeah, were you supposed to bring Liv home?" he asked.

"Yeah but plans changed, she's asleep on the sofa here, why?" Casey said more alert. "Hang on; you said 'bring her' not 'take her'. Are you in New York? Are you at Liv's?"

"Yeah, go there about twenty minutes ago; as a surprise…looks like I got the surprise though," Elliot said.

"Damn! El, if you had have let me know I would have brought her home. She was just a bit down and so I invited her to spend the night," Casey said, disappointed Elliot's plan had panned out.

"Is she okay? I mean I know she was injured last week, Kathleen told me, Olivia hasn't admitted it yet," he said.

"She's okay, broken arm and cuts and bruises," Casey said quietly.

"What went wrong?" he asked. "And the truth, please."

Casey um-ed and ah-ed for a few moments.

"Just tell me, Case," Elliot insisted tiredly.

"Her new partner stuffed up, perp attacked her…" she explained.

"Who was he? I'll kill the bastard!" Elliot yelled.

"Don't worry about him, El, he's been taken care of," Casey said. "Now, what do you want to do? You're more than welcome to come out here or I had planned to drop her off by 8:00."

Elliot considered his options; if Olivia was already asleep he didn't want to disturb her. He could benefit from a long, hot shower and a few hours sleep before dawn.

"Look Casey, let her sleep. I'll stay here, please don't tell her," he said.

"I won't. We'll see you in the morning," Casey yawned. "Oh El, does this mean…"

"Yeah it does," he replied before she completed her question.

"I'm glad," she said.

"Me too!" Elliot smiled.

"Merry Christmas, El," Casey said.

"Yeah, Merry Christmas, Case," he replied.

Showered, dressed in boxers and a beater, Elliot slid between the crisp pink sheets of Olivia's bed. He grabbed her pillow and hugged it before breathing deeply and inhaling the familiar scent of her jasmine and jojoba shampoo. Before long he drifted off to sleep, a familiar carol playing through his head…

_Christmas Eve will find me  
Where the love light beams  
I'll be home for Christmas  
If only in my dreams  
If only in my dreams_

He awoke after dawn to find he wasn't alone. Lying beside him was Olivia, asleep. Checking the clock he realised it had gone 11:00, if Casey's timing was right, she'd been home at least three hours.

Elliot reached out and brushed her hair from her face and in doing so spied a scar hiding near her hairline; a scar which hadn't been there before. Tenderly he kissed it, kicking himself he hadn't been there for her. She stirred. He kissed her again and her injured arm came up, her plaster cast knocking him.

"Ow!" he exclaimed involuntarily.

Olivia's eyes shot open. "El, what?"

"Nothing, Liv," he soothed.

She studied him intently.

"I wasn't expecting you," she said, a smile spreading across her face.

"I know it was supposed to be a surprise," he explained.

"It's a nice surprise," Olivia replied.

"Just 'nice'?" he asked.

Olivia slowly shook her head. "Very nice," she smirked. "You do know your kids went south for Christmas?"

"Yeah, Kathleen told me," he answered.

"So you didn't come for them?" Olivia asked, wanting to be sure.

"Uh, uh," he said, picking up her damaged arm. "Just you. Wanna tell me about this?" He kissed the cast.

"Uh, uh." She shook her head, and inched closer to him.

"Did you have plans for Christmas?" he asked quietly as he kissed each finger.

"Uh, uh, you?" she asked losing herself in his crystal blue eyes.

He nodded. "I wanted to be home for Christmas."

"Well, El, you're sense of direction's off. You missed your place by miles," she whispered.

He shook his head. "My _house_ is miles away but I didn't want my house, I wanted to be _home_…" his voice trailed.

"Home?" she echoed. "My place?" She was confused.

He shook his head again. "No, with you…wherever you are…that's home…to me," Suddenly Elliot felt unsure of himself but Olivia put him at ease.

She stretched over him and opened the bedside drawer.

"I wanted to be _home_ too," she grinned handing him an envelope. He opened it and saw a return ticket to Phoenix for the 30th. "I couldn't get there for Christmas but I was hoping to be there for New Year's."

"Really?!" Elliot was stunned. "You were coming to me?"

"Yep, sad really. As much as you drive me crazy when we're together I realised you drove me crazier when you were away," she admitted.

"Why do you figure that is?" he asked as his hand began its journey up and down her arm.

"Just because," she grinned. He wasn't hearing her secrets just yet.

"Well, what do we do now?" Elliot asked.

"What do you want to do?" she asked.

"Whatever you want," he replied, his heart beginning to thump loudly.

"You mean you came all this way without a plan?" she chided, hooking a leg through his.

"No, I had a plan…" His voice trailed.

"Well, act on it, Stabler," she said firmly.

"Um, before I do can I just tell you something," he whispered as he nibbled at her ear.

"Make it quick," she replied as she ran her hands up under his beater.

"Merry Christmas, Liv, I love you," he said, gazing into her chocolate eyes.

"Love you too, Elliot," she replied. "I'm so glad you're home."

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close, before another word was uttered his lips met hers and a day of heavenly Christmas bliss ensued.


	6. Last Christmas

_**Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, the song's not mine, the story is….**_

_**This one's for Lissy...lots of love  
**_

**---------------------------------------------------------------"Last Christmas"---------------------------------------------------------------**

It was a wet and miserable Christmas Eve as Olivia sat huddled on her sofa. 'It's a Wonderful Life' was on the television but she was only watching bits of it, wondering about her own life and how different things should have been.

Tears rained unchecked as she recollected this very same night, twelve months ago.

_The SVU team were hanging out at a restaurant celebrating the festive season. Copious amounts of alcohol had been consumed, dinner had been eaten and dancing was attempted. _

_As the night wore on Olivia found herself in Elliot's arms and it was a wonderful place to be. Two bars into the first song and she knew she never wanted to be anywhere else – ever again. She allowed herself to fall further into his arms, lean harder into his body and disappear further into his azure eyes than she ever intended._

_Songs changed, once, twice, three times and although the tempo became more upbeat their actions never changed. Two bodies melded into one, swaying gently to the rhythm of each other more than the melody._

_As the waiter called last drinks, Olivia looked up at Elliot and was surprised to see him staring intently at her. Impulsively she kissed him and while she never intended it to be anything more than a quick kiss it took on a life of its own._

_Before she could rationalise what was happening his tongue was in her mouth and his hands were tenderly exploring her body. At that moment she knew she could die happy…whatever the future would bring she'd had her moment with Elliot._

_Sadly it was only a moment, the waiter interrupted them, then, as Olivia was trying to make arrangements with Elliot to take things further, Kathy called and he, being the dutiful father and ex-husband, went to her and left Olivia sad and alone on Christmas._

_Christmas Day dawned without so much as a text message from him and by the time they were back at work she had decided to close that chapter of her life. No longer would her days and nights be Elliot-filled. He'd obviously made a choice and it wasn't her. He either thought very little of their moment or was embarrassed by it – Olivia wasn't sure if she wanted to know which. Whatever it was, their relationship became one of a purely professional nature and as the weeks and months passed Elliot tried to get her to discuss the change in their dynamic. He was continually disappointed by her response but she wouldn't let him get close again – it took too much to get over him. _

Back to the present time, Olivia wiped away the tears still on her cheeks. She grabbed the remote and turned on the stereo, Wham's song started and the tears cascaded again …she shook her head. How could two English glamour boys do that to her?

_Last Christmas  
I gave you my heart  
But the very next day you gave it away  
This year  
To save me from tears  
I'll give it to someone special_

_Once bitten and twice shy  
I keep my distance  
But you still catch my eye  
Tell me baby  
Do you recognize me?  
Well  
It's been a year  
It doesn't surprise me  
I wrapped it up and sent it  
With a note saying "I love you"  
I meant it  
Now I know what a fool I've been  
But if you kissed me now  
I know you'd fool me again  
_

As she allowed herself to cry yet again she felt ashamed. Ashamed that after a year, fifty two long weeks, she was still no closer to truly letting him go.

_Last Christmas  
I gave you my heart  
But the very next day you gave it away  
This year  
To save me from tears  
I'll give it to someone special  
_  
_A crowded room  
Friends with tired eyes  
I'm hiding from you  
And your soul of ice  
My god I thought you were  
Someone to rely on  
Me?  
I guess I was a shoulder to cry on_

Olivia hit the off button before the song ended … maybe he was just being friendly. Maybe she had misread the meaning behind his kiss, he was facing his first Christmas as a divorced father-of-four, as an ex-husband. Maybe she had only provided him with a shoulder, or a soft pair of lips.

The thought she was nothing more than a warm body was harder to take than it being a mistake or an embarrassment and she cried harder, while still chastising herself that he could reduce her to such an emotional wreck.

She downed one whiskey and as she poured the next she spied the clock. 12:01, Christmas Day had finally arrived, with no plans until the evening she gulped down her second glass. The only way she was going to get through it was to sleep most of it away.

As she poured her third there was a startling knock on her door.

"Liv, I know you're in there, please open up!" Elliot called.

Olivia contemplated her choices but his knocking became louder and more insistent and she knew if she didn't open the door her neighbours would soon complain.

"What?" she growled as she opened it.

Elliot looked confused. He knew he was calling late but never expected to hear such animosity. "Liv, everything alright?" he asked, noting her tear stained face.

"Fine, what do you want?" she asked as coldly as she could, not moving and not inviting him in.

"I want to talk to you," he said taking half a step forward fully expecting her to step aside and let him in. She didn't.

'I'm sorry, Elliot, I don't want to talk to you. Good night." She went to close the door but he stuck his foot in the way.

"Olivia Benson, talk to me." It was his turn to growl. He pushed the door and was surprised the door opened freely. He looked into the apartment and saw Olivia moving to the sofa. He entered without asking for permission; he knew he wouldn't get it.

Elliot closed the door behind him and sat at the opposite end of the sofa. He picked up her glass and took a gulp, he needed fortification.

"You wanna talk to …" he began.

"No!" she interrupted.

"Liv, please…I need to talk…" he began again.

"It's always what you want, isn't it?" she snarled.

"Liv, I don't understand. Everything was fine today…everything was…" Elliot started again.

Olivia jumped to her feet. "Everything wasn't fine today, yesterday or any other day…" She headed to the door and opened it.

Elliot stayed on the sofa. "I'm not leaving, Olivia, so you can close the door."

"You're not staying either," she retorted, standing firm.

"What happened? Not just tonight but this last year…things haven't been going well for us," Elliot said, unmoved.

"Things have been adequate this_ last _year, we have a good professional relationship, we've had excellent results…" Olivia commented.

"God, Liv, you sound like a stockbroker's report. Yeah, professionally things have been good but I thought there was more to us than the job." He turned to face her.

"Then just like me you were wrong. It's late, I'm going to bed – see yourself out," she said closing the door and heading to the bedroom.

He shook his head and looked around the living room; there was very little evidence of Christmas.

_Christmas,_ the word echoed in his head, _Christmas. Things had changed this last year, a year since Christmas, since last Christmas._

A million mirrors simultaneously breaking couldn't have made a louder noise than Elliot's realisation. Everything had changed after that Christmas Eve encounter, the one he had dreamed of, longed for, prayed for. The one he wanted to repeat each and every day since.

He headed into her bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. Olivia rolled away from him.

"I am so very, very sorry, Olivia," he said quietly into the darkened room.

Struck by the deep sadness in his voice, something she couldn't recall hearing before, Olivia turned back to him and was surprised to catch the glistening trail trickling down his face.

"You have to believe me, I am so sorry," he repeated.

Olivia sat up in bed and studied him. Gone was the stubborn and determined man she'd left not more than five minutes ago, the man in front of her looked shattered. Despite her vow to herself not to get close to him again she couldn't help herself, she reached out and took his hands.

"What are you so sorry for, El?" she asked before wiping his tears.

"I did this…I can't believe I did this," he muttered staring at her quilt.

"Did what?" she asked, lifting his head so she could see him.

"This!" He moved their still joined hands back and forth to indicate them.

Olivia shook her head. "I don't get it."

Elliot took a few deep breaths. "It's all my fault, isn't it? This -professional relationship only, this - you being disinterested in me as anything other than your partner, this - distance between us. I caused it, didn't I?

Olivia slowly nodded.

"I kissed you and then did nothing about it," he continued talking more to himself. "God, I'm such an idiot. I should have…I mean I wanted to but…oh god, Livvy, I stuffed up."

She watched intently as he raised their hands and kissed hers.

"Last Christmas I wanted to take you home and show you just how much I loved you but then Kathy called and like the imbecile I am I went there…I should never have chosen her over you. And Christmas Day I wanted to come over and see if you would still be interested in hearing what I had to say…but my brother called and I had to go out there. Then Cragen called me out on the Melrose Case and Christmas was over before I knew it. You didn't say anything so I thought maybe you weren't interested, that it had just been a Christmas kiss and that's it…" he rambled.

"You loved me…" Olivia echoed. He nodded; despite the change in the dynamic of the relationship he hadn't stopped loving her – ever.

"I did ...and I still do, Livvy," he admitted. "Always have…just been too much of a coward."

She smiled … a year of heartache was just wiped away by the sweetest words she'd ever heard. "You know something, El, I love you too – god knows I tried not to, tried to ignore it, not believe it but it never worked."

"What do we do now?" Elliot asked, in the most nervous voice she'd ever heard come out of his mouth.

"You could kiss me…" she whispered as she snaked her hands around his neck and drew him towards her. His lips met hers and they were both transported back to their Christmas Eve encounter. She ran her fingers through his hair and pulled him down onto her.

"You sure about this?" he asked breathlessly.

"El, last Christmas I gave you my heart, this one I'm giving you all of me, but only on one condition…" she began.

"What's that?" he asked, ready to agree to anything.

"That this time it doesn't end in tears…" she whispered.

"Only tears of joy…" He kissed her again and again and again until the past twelve months evaporated and there was only the passion inspired by Christmas Eve last year and the impending passion of this Christmas Day.


	7. Jingle Bell Rock

**Jingle Bell Rock**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, never likely to be…one can only dream**

**This is for Chantelle…Merry Christmas!**

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------Jingle Bell Rock-------------------------------------------------------------------- **

_Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock  
Jingle bells swing and jingle bells ring  
Snowing and blowing up bushels of fun  
Now the jingle hop has begun_

Times Square was awash in its normal sea of fluorescent colours and neon signs. The ground was covered in two inches of snow and, over the grates, where the heat had evaporated the snow, steam rose on the near deserted roads.

Walking through to the subway on their way back from The Olive Garden where the SVU squad had enjoyed their Christmas get together Olivia slipped on an icy patch and Elliot, grabbing for her arm, fell with her. They both ended up in a tangled mess on limbs on the ground.

"You okay, Liv?" asked Elliot, extracting himself before rubbing his hands to warm them from their icy contact with the snow. "Liv?" He stretched out his hands.

"Think I broke something," she cautiously admitted with a sheepish grin.

"What?" He crouched down beside her.

"Um…my ankle." She pointed to her right leg and grimaced as he touched her. "Ahhh!" she drew in a sharp breathe.

"Hurts?" he asked, gently rubbing her shin.

"Nah, my eyes normally pop out of their sockets about this time," she groaned.

"Well, let's get you some help."

Elliot scooped her up and she draped her arms around his neck, burying her face into his shoulder every time movement caused sudden and sharp pain to ricochet from her ankle to all parts of her being. More than once Olivia groaned as the pain became overwhelming.

"Don't know why you're groaning, I'm the one carrying you," Elliot chided, trying to distract her. "I think you need to cut back on the donuts."

Playfully she swiped him across the back of the head. "I'll get you."

A block and a half along without a cab in sight, Elliot waved down the first black and white he saw. Flashing his badge he instructed the rookie driver to get them to Mercy or else. The young man paled and got them there in record time.

"Sit down El," Olivia instructed, tired of seeing him pace the floor.

"I'm fine," he replied without stopping.

"El….hey, El, come here," she said, holding her hand out to him. "Why are you so anxious?"

"Your ankle's probably broken, you're in pain and these idiots are taking forever…I mean we've been here thirty six minutes and you haven't even had an x-ray," he ranted.

"Hey…" She pulled him back as he tried to resume his pacing. "The Vicodin's kicked in…it's still sore but not as painful as it was….and there was the multiple MVA they're dealing with – a broken ankle doesn't quite stack up now, does it?"

"I guess not." He sighed heavily slumping into a seat beside the bed.

"Look Elliot, you don't need to hang out here all night, I'll be fine you can go. I know you have plans tomorrow," she said, her eyelids getting heavier.

"No way,' he replied, getting back to his feet. "I'm not leaving you here by yourself. Besides, you'll need someone to take you home."

"Well, at least go get yourself some coffee…or a sedative…something to help you settle. You'll drive me crazy if you keep up the pacing," she said with equal measure of humour and seriousness.

Five minutes after Elliot left for the cafeteria the nurse and orderly came to take Olivia for her x-rays.

"This is completely ridiculous," remarked Olivia as they wheeled her, bed and all, to radiology.

"Standard practise, ma'am," replied the orderly.

"Wouldn't a wheelchair have done just as well?" she asked.

"Your leg has to be as immobilised as possible - we don't want to aggravate the existing injury.

"Fine," Olivia conceded.

Elliot returned and was staggered to see two doctors and four nurses working frantically around the bed.

"BP dropping," yelled one nurse. "Pulse weak and rapid."

"O2 levels dropping," called another.

He moved towards the bed only to be pulled back by yet another nurse.

"Sir, give them room," she ordered.

"What the hell happened?" he asked, not daring to look away from the chaotic scene.

"Sir, they're doing everything they can,' she said as the patient flat lined; the piercing beep cut through his heart.

"I don't understand it…she slipped on the street and probably broke an ankle but this…" He gestured to the room.

"She? Sir, this patient is male." The nurse double checked just to be sure.

"But…But…this is where Olivia Benson was…." he croaked.

"She went to x-ray about ten minutes ago."

Elliot threw his untouched coffee into the nearest trashcan and raced to radiology. He got there just as Olivia had finished.

"Look's like a break…" she said tiredly before registering his startled look. "What's wrong?"

"Um, nothing…nothing," he replied as he managed to start breathing properly again.

"El, you're as white as a ghost. Are you sure you didn't do some damage when you fell?" she asked concerned at his pallor.

"Yeah, I'm sure." He didn't want to tell her he'd just thought she'd died, that in that instant he wanted to die for her or with her…preferring those scenarios to living without her.

Olivia studied him cautiously as he walked alongside the bed as she was wheeled back to the ER and into another room.

"Dr Harrison will be in shortly to confirm the x-ray," said the nurse as she fixed Olivia's bed. "Just buzz if you need anything."

The nurse gone, Olivia allowed her gaze to settle back on Elliot…his good humour of the night long gone, a new sense of fear mixed with panic could still be seen behind his baby blues, she had no idea where it had come from.

"El," she said quietly, knowing it would bring him to her bedside, it did. "Wanna tell me now?"

"Tell you what, Liv?" he asked.

"About what's wrong," she prompted.

"Nothing, I'm just tired…" He yawned for effect before glancing at the clock. "Ha, it's now Christmas Eve….Santa comes tonight."

"Santa? Right?" She knew he was avoiding the issue. "El, go home…get some sleep. I don't think I'll be getting out anytime soon,"

"Oh, you never know, Olivia, you may see the sunrise," said Dr Harrison, briskly walking to her bed with x-rays in hand. "If you look here," he said tapping the film just above the image of her foot. "You have two small fractures at the base of the tibia and…"

"So, how long's the plaster on for?" asked Elliot, keen to get things moving.

"Ah, no plaster. The ankle's too swollen at this stage. We will fit a splint to support the ankle and give Olivia crutches…which must be used for the next two weeks at least. Then we will x-ray again and if necessary apply a cast.

"Look's like you'll be doing desk duty for a while, Liv," Elliot smiled, more than happy to have her confined to the precinct rather than on the streets on crutches.

Several more hours passed before Olivia had her splint applied, her crutches in hand, pain relief meds, discharge advice and follow up appointment. Elliot pocketed the pills and notes so she had her hands free for the crutches. He walked painstakingly slow from the hospital drawing several calls to hurry up from Olivia.

"No, I won't hurry up, Liv, you slow down! This isn't the hundred meter dash you know," he said.

"At the rate you're going we'll still be here tomorrow," she chided as she stopped to allow him to catch up.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," he muttered.

As the cab took them from the hospital to Olivia's apartment, the radio blared with Christmas carols.

_  
Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock  
Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time  
Dancing and prancing in Jingle Bell Square_  
_In the frosty air._

_What a bright time, it's the right time  
To rock the night away  
Jingle bell time is a swell time  
To go gliding in a one-horse sleigh  
Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet  
Jingle around the clock  
Mix and a-mingle in the jingling feet  
That's the jingle bell,  
That's the jingle bell,  
That's the jingle bell rock._

"I guess there won't be any dancing and prancing for me this Christmas," Olivia said, looking down at her leg.

"Guess not," Elliot yawned.

"Thanks for staying all night, El. You didn't have to but I appreciate the fact you did." She gave his hand a quick squeeze.

"You're welcome…besides it could just have easily been the other way around," he replied.

"True but you'd have been a much more difficult patient," she chided before closing her eyes and resting her head on the seat.

It was Elliot's hand gently rubbing her arm which woke her up once they had pulled up in front of her block.

"Rise and shine, Livvy, we're home," he said quietly. A groan was his only response. He moved around to her door and opened it. "Liv, come on." He guided her from the car and put her crutches in one hand and wrapped his other arm around her waist. She leaned heavily on him as she hopped up the front stairs.

Once in the foyer she was dismayed to find the elevator out of order, she eyed the staircase…it was going to be a long and arduous trek up to her apartment.

"It won't be as bad as you think," Elliot said as he handed her the crutches.

She looked from the aids to the stairs to Elliot. "Sure."

Before she could stop him he scooped her up and began to carry her up.

"No, no, put me down," Olivia said when she knocked her leg for the third time.

"You can't walk, Liv," he said as he let her stand up on the first floor landing.

Elliot looked at the next lot of stairs. "I've got it."

He threw her over his shoulder in the classic fireman's lift and continued up the stairs. Despite her embarrassment of spending time with her butt in the air and her face dangling over his back, Olivia was grateful for the assistance.

Before long he was walking through her sitting room towards her bedroom.

"El, you can put me on the sofa," she said into his shirt.

"You need to get some sleep," he replied opening the bedroom door.

"I can sleep on the sofa," she reminded him.

"Well then where will I sleep?" he asked as he deposited her as gently as possible onto her bed.

She stared at him for a moment. "You'll sleep at your place."

He laughed at her comment, there was no way he was leaving her alone just yet.

"What's so funny, El?" she asked.

"You. You think I'd leave you here on Christmas Eve, doped up on pain killers and with no means of getting in or out of your building…" He walked out of the bedroom and headed to the kitchen.

"Elliot, wait," she said hobbling after him. He stopped and turned around. "Look, I appreciate everything but I don't need a babysitter. Besides you had plans for today."

"I have plans for later today and I'm not your babysitter, I'm your partner. Now, do you want something to eat or drink?" He entered the kitchen and plugged in the kettle.

Olivia knew he was staying whether she wanted him to or not and although she'd never admit it to him she was glad, she liked having him there.

"Coffee and toasted cheese, if that's okay?" she asked.

"It is. Now, go sit on the sofa and I'll bring it over," Elliot instructed.

"Yes, sir," Olivia replied with a mock salute. Elliot grinned.

When the food was gone and the coffee finished, Elliot stood and took the mugs and plates back to the kitchen.

"Now, Liv," he said on his return. "Do you need any help getting into bed?"

Olivia grinned at his comment and watched a small blush creep up his cheeks. "I mean…with your foot…do you…"

"Relax, El, I'll be fine…I am going to take a shower though and I may need some help there…" she said and watched as he inhaled sharply. "I mean in putting the waterproof cover on my splint."

"Oh yeah, I can do that," he replied, _although I'd prefer to help in the shower._ He shook his head at the thought.

"I'll shout for you when I need your help."

Elliot sat patiently on the sofa awaiting her call. It seemed to take forever to come and when it did he was at the door within the blink of an eye. He knocked once as a courtesy. It was a difficult job for him to keep his eyeballs in their own sockets when he saw Olivia sitting on her bed, wrapped in nothing but a fluffy pink towel. _God, I'd love to be that towel!_

After assisting Olivia with her splint, Elliot sat down on the bed and watched her walk into the bathroom. As he listened to the water running, he imagined being on the other side of that door and the sight which would befall him. He lay on the bed and closed his eyes after an extraordinarily long night. As well as it had all turned out he still couldn't completely let go of the fact that, just for an instant, that night he thought he'd lost her – and that feeling disturbed him greatly.

By the time Olivia was finished, Elliot was sound asleep. Not wanting to disturb him, she threw a blanket over him and slipped under the covers beside him. Sleep came almost instantly.

It was mid-afternoon before Olivia awoke. She smiled to find Elliot's face inches away from her, he was still asleep and he looked so peaceful. She watched him for a while and noted his handsome features begin to transform. He was mumbling something she couldn't quite make out. He began moving restlessly, his face registering his distress.

"No! No!" he called out and instantly she reached out and gently shook him.

"El! Elliot, wake up!" Olivia said.

"Not happening!!! NO!!!" he screamed. Olivia shook him more vigorously.

"Elliot, it's a dream, wake up!" she said loudly.

Elliot's eyes popped open, his breathing was quick and shallow and sweat covered his face.

"It's a dream, El, just a dream. You're okay," she soothed, running her hand up and down his arm. He stared at her.

"Dream," he repeated.

"Yeah, hon, just a dream. You're okay," she whispered, gently patting his face.

"Are you?" he asked.

"Am I what?" Olivia asked confused.

"Are you okay?" He struggled to sit up.

"I'm fine, broken ankle aside," she replied, noting his concern. "Why wouldn't I be?"

He shook his head; he didn't want to explain it. In the ER yesterday he thought she was dead, in his dream he was burying her…he couldn't tell her.

"El," she said, sitting up beside him, trying to get eye contact and not succeeding. She drew his face around and noted the same fear and panic she'd seen at the hospital. "What was the dream about? What happened at the hospital yesterday?" she asked, keeping her hand on his cheek so he wouldn't look away.

He leaned his face into her palm and sighed.

"I thought I'd lost you…" he began; a puzzled look crossed her face.

"How?" she interrupted.

"Um…yesterday…I returned to your room and they'd taken you to radiology…" he paused.

"And?" Olivia prompted gently.

"And…when I got back a whole mess of people were working around your bed trying to resuscitate you and you flat lined…" he replied.

"Was that in your dream?" she asked.

He shook his head. "At the hospital…only it wasn't you it was the person they put in your room when you went for x-rays but I didn't know that and I thought it was you and the nurse wouldn't let me get any closer and then the beep for flat line came through and I…I…thought I'd lost you," he spewed forth without a breath.

Olivia picked up his hand and rubbed it against her face before placing it over her heart. "El, I'm still here. See?"

He nodded and for the first time in a long time allowed himself to breathe.

After a few moments Olivia realised his hand still hadn't moved, she looked from his hand to his eyes and their gaze locked. She ran her hand along his arm and up to his shoulder before caressing his face.

"I'm okay," she whispered and watched as a smile spread across his face. He went to move his hand but she captured it and kissed his palm. "And you're okay, too."

The seconds seemed endless as Elliot inched his way towards her, he so desperately wanted to kiss her, now more than ever.

Just as his lips brushed hers the phone rang startling them both.

"Benson," Olivia grumbled.

"Hey Liv, it's Don," her boss said. "Just calling to see what the verdict was. Elliot phoned from the hospital to say you'd had a fall…"

"It's a fracture. Sorry Don…looks like I'll be out of commission for a while," Olivia replied.

"These things happen, Liv. Is there anything I can do for you? Are you getting around alright?" he asked.

"Haven't tried much. We didn't get home 'til about eight and crashed not long after," she reported.

"We?" Don questioned.

"Elliot and I…" she replied.

"Oh," he said quietly, not to sure what to think.

"It's not like that, Don," Olivia offered, although she hoped it was.

"Yeah okay," he replied without sounding convinced.

"Daddy checking up on us," Elliot laughed as she replaced the receiver.

"Yep, don't think he liked what he heard though," she smiled.

"Oh well, his problem," he said, moving close to where he had been before the interruption.

His lips captured hers and sparks flew causing Olivia to moan into his mouth.

When he finally broke away, a huge smile was on his face.

"You look pleased with yourself," she chided.

"I am…I've…um…wanted to do that for a long while…" he trailed.

"Why didn't you?" she asked.

"Thought you might deck me…" he said, with a degree of seriousness.

"You should have taken your chances," she said as her hand wrapped around his neck.

"You ever thought of kissing me?" he asked. She shook her head. "Never? Not at all?" He looked hurt.

"Well, not_ just_ kissing you…" her voice trailled as she pulled him closer to her.

"You mean you've thought of us…"

She nodded and smiled. Elliot grinned, Olivia had been starring in little more than her birthday suit in most of his recent dreams.

He repositioned himself so he could kiss her properly and he did…her brain had little chance to register the growing pain in her ankle as he took her breath away, again and again. When finally he broke away, he looked at her expectantly.

"Didn't you have plans for today?" Olivia asked, not wanting to start something he couldn't finish.

"Oh yeah…" he said, "but I think she'll understand."

"She?" she replied, jealousy creeping into that single word.

Elliot fished into his pocket and pulled out two tickets for the Christmas Concert and Dance at Radio City.

"You said you wanted to go, so I bought the tickets as a surprise," Elliot explained. "Sorry you can't go dancing and prancing tonight, Liv."

Olivia sighed, a cheeky gleam sparkling in her eyes. "Um, El, if you're game we can still do the Jingle Bell Rock."

"Liv, with your ankle you can't dance," he replied.

"Who said it had to be vertical dancing?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You mean it can be horizontal?" he asked more than a little surprised.

Olivia grinned broadly, tugging at his shirt.

"_What a bright time, it's the right time to __**rock **__the night away…" _she began to sing to him.

Before she could continue his tongue was in her mouth and her night was about to be well and truly rocked.

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------Jingle Bell Rock--------------------------------------------------------------------**

_**I am aware I have a few requests still pending, most of which I have started. Unfortunately due to ill health they will probably not be posted before Christmas - sorry. If no one has any objections I'll continue the Christmas ffs into the New Year...or...I can keep them for next year... ** _


	8. I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus

Disclaimer: Still not mine... though one day Mr Wolf and I may come to some arrangement.

**_This is short and sweet but just something for the festive season...enjoy..._**

**xoxohohohooxox**

**I SAW MOMMY KISSING SANTA CLAUS**

Inspired by

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus  
Underneath the mistletoe last night.  
She didn't see me creep  
Down the stairs to have a peep;  
She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom  
fast asleep.  
Then, I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus  
Underneath his beard so snowy white;  
Oh, what a laugh it would have been  
If Daddy had only seen  
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night.

It was late on Christmas Eve when Elliot shrugged off his snow-dusted overcoat and hung it on the coat rack in the hallway of his new home. He kicked off his sodden boots before throwing his keys and cell onto the hall table. A quick glance at the clock told him Christmas Day was only minutes away and he grinned to himself, happy to be in before midnight.

Walking through the living room, Elliot tripped over a discarded toy in the dark. Usually he'd mutter some profanity but it was Christmas and he'd promised his wife he wouldn't swear … well, swear as much. Instead, he made his way to the kitchen and poured himself a whisky, needing the liquid to take the chill out of him – it succeeded.

As per the instructions he'd had explained to him numerous times by his wife and elder children, Elliot made his way to the study and pulled on the Santa outfit that had been laid out for him. After shoving in the pillow for girth and readjusting his beard several times, he checked out his appearance in the mirror and grinned. Christmas was always special to him, but more so when the kids still believed in good old St Nick.

Opening the closet he grabbed the bright red sack filled with presents for the two children sleeping upstairs and slung it over his shoulder. He groaned at the weight. It wasn't possible his youngest children could need anything, they were well and truly spoilt by their siblings and his colleagues, still it was Christmas and they deserved anything their hearts desired.

He climbed the stairs, making a little noise in the hope his kids would stir but not wake fully. He opened the first door and made his way to the bright pink Christmas sack and filled it quickly, humming Jingle Bells as he went.

"Santa?!" came a hushed exclamation from under the covers.

"Yes, it's Santa," he replied. "Shh, we don't want anyone to know I'm here," he added, leaving the last of the presents.

"There are a lot of presents," said the young girl, her eyes shining brightly.

"Well, you've been very good this year, haven't you?" Elliot asked.

"Oh yes, Santa, very good!" she agreed vigorously.

"Goodnight, sweetheart, sleep well," he said, heading towards the door.

"Goodnight, Santa," she called after him. "And thank you!"

Elliot couldn't help but smile, his youngest daughter was by far the sweetest of all.

He made his way to his son's room. "Ho, ho, ho!" he announced coming through the door. Being a Stabler man, he did as his father did and just mumbled before rolling over and falling back into a deep sleep. Elliot tried to get his attention but it was to no avail and he simply smiled and filled the blue Christmas sack which had been left on the floor.

Making his way back downstairs, Elliot turned on the lamp in the living room and started pulling out the last of the brightly wrapped packages. After he'd arranged them neatly under the tree, something which had impressed even himself, he stood back admiring his work. Suddenly, he was caught off guard by a hand snaking its way around his expanded stomach.

"Hello Santa!" Olivia cooed seductively. "What have you got for me?"

"Anything you want, baby," he replied, turning to her and wrapping her in a warm embrace. "Anything you want!"

"Well, I've been very good all year," she said almost shyly, "so I think I deserve everything in the _sack_."

"I can so arrange that…" he grinned, pulling her closer and kissing her thoroughly.

"Why, Santa!" Olivia exclaimed breathlessly when she pulled back. "Do you know what that does to me?"

"I have a fair idea," he growled, moving in to nibble on her lobe. She giggled as the bushy white beard scratched her face.

"Can't say I'm a fan of this," she said, tugging gently at the beard.

"I can take it off for you," he cooed, brushing her hair back from her face.

"Oh, in that case, I don't like this…this … this," she said, pointing to other items adorning his body. "And I definitely don't like those…" she said firmly, pointing to the bright red pants.

"Oh, believe me, they're coming off as soon as possible," he grinned.

Olivia moved to turn off the lamp when Elliot pulled her back to him.

"I think you'll find we have an audience," he whispered, nodding slightly towards the steps. Slyly, Olivia glanced over to find their six-year-old daughter, Emily, watching the scene below with great curiosity.

"Oops," she whispered. "I think we've been sprung."

"I think so too," he replied. "How do you want to deal with this?"

"Well, with any luck she'll be back asleep very soon and think this was all a dream," Olivia whispered.

"Hope so," Elliot said, squeezing her hand.

Olivia pulled away from him.

"Well, goodnight Santa," she said loudly. "Thank you for coming here. I'm off to bed now." She grinned as she heard little feet scurrying back along the landing.

"And I'm coming with you," he cooed, pulling her back for another long kiss.

"Wow!" she said, as they broke apart. "I'd say leave the suit on but if Em or Tom see you coming into our bedroom in it, I think we'll be in big trouble."

"True," he conceded. "You go up and I'll be there as soon as possible," he instructed as he gently pushed her to the stairwell.

When he ascended the stairs, he found Olivia standing outside Tom's bedroom, her head leaning on the slightly opened door and a smile he couldn't describe.

"Hey," he whispered. "What's going on?"

"Just listen," she replied, pulling him closer to her and running her hand up his back and under his opened shirt.

"I did see him, Tom, I did," Emily insisted, bouncing on her older brother's bed.

"Em, you were dreaming, go back to bed," he grumbled, trying to push her off.

"No, I wasn't. Santa came into my room and left my presents and then he was downstairs and mommy was kissing him … just like she kisses daddy," she pressed.

"Emily, mommy wouldn't kiss anyone like she kisses daddy …" he sighed. Even at eight he knew his parents had a special kind of love.

"But she did … and she was playing with his beard," Emily continued, trying to convince him, but it wasn't working.

"Em…I'm tired. Just go to sleep, would you?" he pleaded wearily.

"Only if you say I'm right…" she bargained. Elliot grinned; she was certainly her mother's daughter.

"Okay, you're right… mommy was kissing Santa Claus, now go to sleep," he sighed, snuggling deeper under the covers.

"Okay," Emily grinned, happy with her win. Instead of going back to her own room she climbed in with her brother.

"What are you doing?" he grumbled, only managing to open one eye.

"Sleeping here, your bed's warmer than mine," she sighed, snuggling deeper into the warmth.

"Fine," he conceded. "Just don't hog all the blankets." Elliot chuckled, definitely her mother's daughter.

After a few minutes, Elliot and Olivia moved quietly into the room and kissed them both good night before heading to their own room.

"I think you're in trouble, Liv," Elliot said stripping down to his boxers before slipping between the sheets.

"Is that a promise?" Olivia grinned, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, it is … but I meant in relation to our daughter …she's going to tell on you tomorrow," he said, pulling back the covers for her.

"I'm sure she is," she replied, knowing their daughter was going through a tattle-tale stage. "But we'll deal with that tomorrow… there are more pressing things right now."

Olivia climbed onto him and framed his face with her hands.

"As I was saying downstairs …" she began. "I've been very good all year …"

"Oh, you have … most definitely …" he agreed, his hands massaging her curves.

"And I think I deserve a present," she cooed as her lips trailed down his face to his neck.

"And what would you like?" he asked as he rolled her over on the bed.

"That," she whispered, thrusting up gently and into his growing interest in the situation.

"Merry Christmas, baby," he whispered as his lips claimed hers once more.

"Merry Christmas, El," she mumbled into his mouth.

It was a Merry Christmas indeed.

**xoxohohohooxox **

**Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and yours.**


End file.
